John,
My name is Kevin Monohan (Blue), and I am writing to you on behalf of The  Jaded Andain to request a bid to your tournament.  We were (haven't  played together since 1996) a pretty good team, notorious for many semi-finals losses in big tourneys.  But more importantly, we are unbeaten at boat racing, are legendary (that's what I hear) on the west coast for the  way we would win parties, and are dying for a reason to come together as a  team again. 

And Doug Oetter ( Brown) is Jaded. 

I have asked Ben (Red) to  speak to you of us:  

John,  Greetings.

We, the Jaded Andain, bow before you honorably. (See Kay´s Fionavar Tapestry and the yet-unwritten Funnest  Ultimate Teams of the Late 20th Century)  We, the most jovial and athletic of tapestries woven in human flesh, colored Red, Pink, Blue, Purple , Silver, Yellow, Brown , Plaid , Black, Orange , Green/White Stripes, Merlot , Teal and Navy, question you this: Will you not allow us passage into the folds of your world, your tournament, your most adequate purpose and reason to reunite us  lost brothers of the Andain, who have spread upon the world to do good in  each of its corners?  

The Andain do not arrive without, and this is our pledge. Let never it be said the Jaded Andain were wanting neither drink nor joy, un-waving jug nor  mug, nor did they withold from spreading their light to fill all the darker corners of the domain that is New Orleans.  Never will it be said that our rainbow of exemplary players and partiers did not walk, slow motion, across your fields, wielding bopping sticks,  water guns, and wicked, cruel (yet in the same way, sexy) grins, and that  your grasses, for the benefit of such a weighted pace, did not blossom and  grow and flatten and soften, through all the years yet to come under the  weaver´s hand.  Never uttered will be the dirge of the Andain, the soft death cries of a player´s weeping soul at the lack we offer; Nay, we bring, always,  infecting populace like a welcomed warm blanket in a high-desert night, a long  draught of wine post a daytime´s wearied toil.  Loud will be sung our anthem, lived will be our creed.

The sum of the parts are always greater than the whole! Bring more than is needed, and we  shall all move that one step closer to the weaver´s destiny.  

(Sung to the sound of pounding mugs, or the trembling ears of a team of she- players)

 We´re Jaded, We´re Jaded, We´re Highly Overrated.
 Last Night we masturbated, tonight we´ll overcome.

 We´re Jaded, We´re Jaded, your destinies are slated.
 Your styles are all outdated, our fashion sense is keen.  

We´re Jaded, We´re Jaded, We´re Jaded Fuckin Andain,
And if we can´t turn you on,Here´s a quarter go call your mom!  

John, we will see you in your world of New Orleans , will we not!? For the Andain, all as one, have I been chosen to make our plea, our offering,  and for your response we are waiting, and certain.